Wednesday, June 3, 2009

To Set A Few Things Straight



I am going to start my blog off by setting YOU straight....first and foremost I am NOT a dog. I AM A HUMAN! If you think otherwise not only are you blind but you are not very smart either. I wear a human life vest for heaven's sake (see picture above)

* Your existence is to please and entertain me. Not the other way around. YOU are my pet.
* I am a Publican....not a Republican or Democrat. Publican. I am not conservative nor am I liberal. I am about what is best for me and how it will effect me.
* I have severe Separation Anxiety from my mom
* I speak with a British accent. I do not know why? I am not British but I just do.
* I like Scotch...not beer but Single Malt Scotch.
* I am a vegetarian. I cannot digest protein. It gives me a rash and heart burn.
* When I am "scooting" in a circle on the rug...I am not scratching my Pug bum...I am dancing. I learned it from you when you have had one too many (you know who you are).
* I am tired of you saying "He is so ugly he's cute"!!! How would you like it if I told you "you smell so bad you make me want to puke"?
* I am not fat, fluffy or any other rude commit you make about my size. I come from strong Chinese stock.
* I am not lazy but waiting for you to get me out of the house.
* I do not sit or lay on the floor. If you like it feel free to sit on the floor but I sit on man made comfy couches, chairs or even an ottoman now and then.
* I do not like it when you put me in the back seat of the car....I feel safer if I drive
Now that I have set you straight I can start updating you on my life as a happy pug......

1 comment:

  1. Percy you are perfect! :) My pugs feel the exact same way as you do! And I especially hate the ugly/cute comments. Some people..

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